March in Review
Analyzing the perpetual guilt of creating (or not)
Hello readers, and welcome to April.
Congratulations, we made it through another month. Feels like out of no where Florida’s muggy heat has returned when we’re not being pelted with thunderstorms. It’s been a great time to keep the windows drawn in the house, curl under several blankets, and sleep the day away.
I can’t say my mood has been all that great.
Maybe it’s been the consistent bombardment of misguided, corrupted decisions made by the people in power. Or the ever-present threat of feeling obsolete and outdated by AI slop, which for someone who wanted to make a living through writing, well.
Not to mention, no luck on the job front. Between the lack of responses and rejections (despite knowing I’m more than qualified thanks to my studies and experience), the ghost listings, oh, and the hiring freezes, I’ve needed to take mental health breaks.
I’m trying to remain active and informed, but in a more limited capacity. A safe-mode, if you will. That being said, I didn’t quite finish my goals, and the guilt sucks.
Your honor, I swear I haven’t just been hiding beneath my sheets this past month! Look, in no particular order, I:
Strung together a last minute birthday party for my husband,
Spent the day hanging with a close friend, another day singing random karaoke, and many productive coffee dates,
Rock climbed for the first time,
Went on many walks with enough steps for my Samsung app to congratulate me,
Celebrated a recent marriage at Disney World,
Dog sat for several days,
Mentored my first student for her last session,
Volunteered my judging expertise for the Young Inklings’ contest,
Kept the home tidy, running, and full of cute meals,
And read two books.
On the one hand, the above list of receipts does console me when I feel inactive. But this need to validate my time and whereabouts in order to divert my perpetual guilt may be the reason I can’t rest properly. I wish I could just exist, that I could accept that I’m one human in a world that’s on fire and yet is full of things worth living for.
I can make better use of my time. I can tell myself, maybe last month wasn’t so productive, but there’s always next month, and then hold myself better accountable. I’ll take it easy for April, but for now, here are the results for March 2025—
But first, I must inform you of my friends Lemon and Dumpling’s webcomic, The Chorus of Moira which is out now!!
While Umi is devastated by a breakup text, their (ex)boyfriend is on top of the world as the first one to receive a once in a lifetime blessing; a gift of power from the gods. With him the cracks in the orderly utopia of Salus begin to form, and one dangerous idea sneaks into the minds of every citizen “Can your life’s fate actually be changed?”
The first two chapters of the Chorus of Moira are out on Patreon, with updates every Saturday! And for official art, extra content, and news, be sure to follow the Instagram @chorusofmoira.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Complete edits for Chapter 5 & 6, or some equivalent.
I finished Chapter 5, and I even started organizing Chapter 6, since Blake would be showing up a whole chapter earlier as previously thought from last month.
Well, that’s not happening anymore.
I was about to go in circles rewriting portions that actually had me excited for this story, which felt unproductive in the long run. So instead of aimlessly rewriting Chapter 6 (again) I started working on a huge outline of the entire manuscript. It’s really helped me zoom out and see the structure as a whole, versus trying to keep all the moving parts in my head while wading through the weeds of the piece.
I’ll use Ellie’s arc as an example of what I’m talking about. For the longest time I knew the two points of her story; where she begins, and how her problem resolves. But for some reason the journey she takes from Point A to Point B wasn’t making sense. By zooming out and viewing the chapters through my outline, I noticed that her development throughout the story isn’t trackable. She takes actions, and things happen to her, but the outline showed me how her mindset was not adapting to eventually reach Point B.
But I’m not mad about this realization.
Have you ever had to just sit after finishing a really good story in order to analyze the craftmanship behind all the flair? Well that’s what is happening for me. I had to create the initial draft to learn the story itself. Now I can go back and clarify the different threads, such as Ellie’s rationale.
Thanks to the outline, I now know that Blake’s appearance still makes the most sense in Chapter 8. For the record, I’ve always considered myself a “pantser” (plans little to nothing in the story) for so long, because I worried that planning would take the fun out of writing the story. Well, I guess I’m a “plantser,” because I’m so looking forward to executing these plans.
Update my resumé, LinkedIn profile, and apply to at least 28 jobs.
Done, done, and 17 jobs.
I’ve gotten faster at updating my cover letter to mimic the tone and jargon used by the organizations I’m applying to. I applied to universities’s admissions and administration, as well as publishing houses, and copywriting and editing positions. Keep me in your prayers! ♥
Buy new house numbers and organize / design offices.
This is where I fell short. Why the hell did I think it was a good idea to lump all of these tasks together?
Well, the HOA just approved our house number selection, and I did go shopping for office furniture and design ideas. But tackling two offices where the residual moving items have been holed up quickly became overwhelming to handle. Gonna take it a lot easier this month. Aim low so I can surprise myself if I overachieve.
So, for my April goals I’ve decided on the following:
Finish Ellie’s outline by organizing it in a way that makes sense to me, or create a piece to submit to anthology by the end of the month.
Get those new house numbers up on the house.
Apply to at least 10 more jobs.
Thank you for staying with me this long. I hope you’re able to rest and relax in some capacity this month.
Bye bye, for now~